Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Baby Steps?

So my potatoes are cooking away in my super fancy new pan, and I don't want to write anything.

This is, tragically, rather ideal since I'm trying to practice doing things I'd rather avoid.

So instead of not writing, I will write about something that is very exciting to me.  (Likely not many other people, but hey.)

Finishing projects is typically difficult for me, and I've been working on a paper with my peeps from my graduate institution for a long, long while.  Like, it could have been finished partway through graduate school.  I mean, if I were someone else.

But I am not someone else, and here's this paper, languishing.  My peeps and I had become discouraged, and every week we'd be all, "we'll get a lot done!" and every week we would get very, very little done.


I was feeling stressed out about this.  I was feeling particularly stressed out about this because I had lots of work to do for my current job.  My current, awesome, amazing job which I love and would like to keep.  And I really just didn't see how I'd get anything done on the paper without being someone else.

Side note: my potatoes burned a little.  The new pan is awesome, but does not have magical anti-burn properties.

Anyway, the point is, I'm not someone else and I don't like feeling crazy, so I didn't work on the paper for a month and it was awesome.  For the past week and a half, my peeps and I have been churning away at the paper for about an hour each day, and I'm relinquishing control of it at the end of the week.  It's cut into my work time a little bit, but I knew it was for a finite time and I got to pick that time.  And I kept saying, "I'll get to it, I'll get to it," and I did.


I read in a book that ADHD folk often need to build the sense that their future can be different from their past, and I feel like this paper-writing experience has been an example of this.  I'd very much like to know someone in the sciences who struggled with ADHD, but knows how to manage herself to a tee and has a satisfying and in-control work and home life.  Also, I want a pony.  And an oscilloscope and a standing end mill.

So, right.  This paper-writing has been overwhelming at a few points and tiring at all points, but it's been something really positive.  And I'm really proud of myself.

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